


reclaimed

by suncuppd



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) Actor RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24036409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suncuppd/pseuds/suncuppd
Summary: This is unfinished for now, lol. If you guys like it though, I might reconsider. Either way, I hope you enjoyed :)
Relationships: Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell, Rich Goranski/Jeremy Heere
Kudos: 16





	reclaimed

Walking toward Jeremy's car alongside him, Rich felt queasy, drunk and regretful. Well, he was drunk and terribly regretful. There was an eerie silence in the air, and he almost wished he had that stupid voice in his head again to tell him what to do. He rushed to dismiss that thought. It's not like the SQUIP did even a shred of good anyway, especially not at a time like this. He remembered the countless times he had breakdowns and was sobbing for hours and hours because it tore him apart. Trying not to look at Jeremy's face, he considered his options until Jeremy finally spoke.   
"Why'd we just do that? I honestly have no idea." Rich struggled to meet his gaze, and Jeremy looked at him curiously.   
"Me too." Even with the current circumstances, Rich purposely avoided saying the word same because it would make his lisp more noticeable. Can't help all the trauma and bullying it caused, he guessed.

He was about to say something else when he realized they reached Jeremy's car. The pair got inside, and soon they were off. After a few minutes, Rich couldn't bear it any longer and tried to mumble out some sort of a coherent sentence. "We just fucked. Again. Aren't we going to end this?"  
They had been hooking up ever since the SQUIP was gone and everything changed. The truth was, he did it to feel something better. Better than the jumble of emotions he constantly switched between. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work, and just made him feel worse. He was simply a wreck. 

Rich had barely spoken to Jake and the others. Although he loved his friends, Jake was his best friend ever, SQUIP or not. Or... was, once. Thousands of posts had been shared about the thing plaguing his mind for weeks. He felt like shit about himself every single time he went on social media. They didn't understand why he burned down the house of the only person he could truly connect with. That Halloween night, he lit up a match and started that fire because he wanted his suffering to end. He wanted his life to end. He pictured himself, engulfed in flames, wanting to scream because his body was literally burning. Rich wanted to call for help, do something; but he couldn't. The only thought he could focus on was that he didn't deserve to live. The next thing he knew, Jake was cradling Rich to his chest and leaping out the window. He remembered it all: everyone running outside, the thick black smoke blanketing the house and clouding his thoughts. If it hadn't been for Jake saving him and ending up in a wheelchair permanently in the process, he might have died. Sadly, he couldn't even work up the courage to text his favorite person, and he doubted Jake would want to talk to him anyway. They hadn't spoken since... it made him sad just thinking about it.

The sound of Jeremy's muttering interrupted his thoughts. Rich took in his appearance. The boy's sandy brown hair was ruffled in various directions, and he was driving almost robot-like. He stared at seemingly nothing, prominent dark circles under his glazed over blue eyes. Who was he talking to? A creepy idea filled Rich's brain. No way. That monster went away for good, he convinced himself. He was about to ask if Jeremy was okay when Jeremy, eyes wide, suddenly shouted.   
"I know we would have ended this shit sooner if you hadn't told that whole sob story about your dad beating you! I can see why he does it now, and I'm not even an alcoholic."  
What the hell? Rich was pissed. He didn't care if Jeremy was still squipped or not. He only told him about his dad in a moment of vulnerability because he had trusted him. Jeremy insulting Rich about something he struggled with daily was like a stab to the heart. After all, Jeremy was the only other person who could really understand what it felt like to have the SQUIP controlling them. Not only that, but the sad truth was, both of them had lost their mothers. His mind flashed between the few memories of her he had. Thinking of the last time he said goodbye to his mom almost drove him to have another breakdown. 

Feeling his eyes water, Rich wanted to see Jake more than ever. Jeremy kept stealing glances at him, looking remorseful.   
"Wait. Rich, I'm sorry..."   
A great deal that was going to do for him now.   
"Just keep driving," Rich said, trying to look as emotionless as possible.  
Jeremy looked like he wanted to say something, but stopped himself. When they finally arrived at Rich's house, Rich needed to ask him one question. Whether it would change anything or not, he had to know.   
"Do you still hear it?" he asked desperately, a look of worry evident on his bruised face. Jeremy turned to him, looking more scared than Rich had ever seen him.   
"Yeah, I do," he confessed, his voice dazed and weak. His expression then changed sadder and he stared out the window.   
"I've had it for a while. It's not like it used to be, though. It's worse, stronger. It can control my body. Plus, sometimes when I try to say things, it just doesn't let me. Also-"  
Jeremy's explanation was cut short. His whole body tensed, and he shoved Rich against the car door.   
"Get out." 

Despite his actions, Jeremy was in trouble. Rich needed to bring him a cure, and fast. He got out of the car and peered at Jeremy in the darkness. He was arguing with his SQUIP, as far as he could tell, so that would buy him some time. Quickly grabbing his phone out of his pocket, he dialed Michael's number. Michael did save the entire school from the SQUIP, so he knew he had some Mountain Dew Red left over. Rich couldn't help but feel like this was all his fault. If he hadn't persuaded Jeremy to get a SQUIP in the first place, none of this would have ever happened. If that wretched supercomputer was back to mess with Jeremy's mind and even more powerful, who knows what it would do to him? He was still emotionally and physically scarred from the thing. Ha ha ha. Scarred. He fucking hated his burn scars. That's why he'd been wearing sweaters to cover them up every single day since he got back to school. Rich felt like he was going to throw up. Little sweat droplets made their way across his face, and his chest tightened up so much he couldn't breathe. Maybe everyone would be better without him. Maybe he should've never let Jake risk his life for him in that fire.

The sound of the voicemail tone echoing in Rich's ears made him kick the sidewalk forcefully, resulting in a few stray rocks falling out of place.   
"God, Michael, please answer the damn phone."  
He called Michael a couple more times, and finally, he picked up.   
"Hey, Rich. What's up?"  
The familiar sound of Michael's voice almost made him smile. Ironic, considering the salty tears streaming down his cheeks. He remembered the brief time in the hospital where he would visit him. As sad as it sounded, Rich missed having someone care about him.   
"Hi. Listen, Jeremy needs your help," he blurted out. "You need to come to his house."  
Michael sighed. Rich could almost feel him roll his eyes over the phone.   
"I don't want to talk to him."  
"I know, but this is serious," Rich replied with as much dignity as he could muster. He knew Michael didn't believe him. Sadly, he had to resort to telling him the truth.  
"His SQUIP is back."   
"Oh god," Michael commented in a panicked tone. "I'll be there in five. Also, I'm at Jake's, so he's coming too."  
Before Rich could begin to protest, the call was ended. He put his phone in his pocket and groaned. How lovely. Jake was going to see him like this, and after so long? He wished he had time to prepare, but it was what it was. He stood up from his seated position on the sidewalk and looked back at Jeremy.

Jeremy got out of the car and walked toward him. He seemed less shaken than he did before, Rich observed.   
"I just wanted to say..." he started, but trailed off once he saw the distraught look plastered on Rich's face.   
"What did you do?"   
"Nothing!" He answered defensively, crossing his arms. Jeremy raised an eyebrow.   
"Okaaay, fine. You're still a dick, but I called Michael and he's coming over. Jake too, since they were hanging out, I guess." Rich struggled to hide his jealousy.  
"Wait, what? I mean, I get Michael coming over. He'd do anything for me, even if he is mad." He sighed and gave a soft smile to no one in particular. Rich glared at him.  
"Jeremy, your gay is showing."  
He blushed, playing with his hair.  
"A-anyways, back to what I was saying. Don't you think it's weird that they've been spending so much time together? What if Michael doesn't need me anymore? What if Jake's my replacement? What if-"  
"Dude," Rich interrupted him. "Please don't talk like that."   
"Sorry. It's just so hard sometimes. I always feel like I'll never be good enough, no matter what I do or how hard I try."  
Rich examined the smattering of freckles dotting Jeremy's face. "I understand. Well, you might not believe me, but you are."  
Jeremy's mouth perked up into his usual small smile, crinkles appearing around his eyes. "Thanks, Rich. You are too, I hope you know that."   
"Thank you."

**Author's Note:**

> This is unfinished for now, lol. If you guys like it though, I might reconsider. Either way, I hope you enjoyed :)


End file.
